Jan 27, 2011


  Drake left on his mission yesterday.  To see the full report, go to my parents blog.  I didn't cry near as much as I thought, but it just doesn't seem real.  I can't explain it.  My friend Crystal who works at the MTC saw Drake this morning and she said he looked like he was in a hurry.  His second day in and he already is busy!
I took his lady friend he is leaving behind out to dinner last night because I know how bad that day is.  We talked about missions, family, friends, and life.  She is great and whether or not she is around in two years, I know she will choose the best thing for her.
Lately with Drake leaving, and a few other things, fond memories of my life two years ago get stirred up.  I'm not sure if anyone even cares, but I have an opinion on waiting for a missionary.
  I dated the boy I sent off for about six months before he left.  We hung out in Provo, and I visited him and his family in California.  We even took a trip down south to Mexico.  I love that family (they probably don't have the best feelings towards me), and they taught me so much.  Just shy of 11 months I wrote.  Perhaps  not as consistently as I could, but I wrote.  I had never really given  a lot of thought to marriage and children and the church, but this missionary made me realize that I wanted all of those things.  Of course I had sad days, but for the most part I made the most of our time apart.  I wanted to develop my sense of identity, to date, to have fun, and I did.  Last year I had a great ward and great roommates that encouraged me to be who I want to be.  I became more bold and I got what I wanted.  I dated more than I ever had, and I was just doing it for fun, I was "serious" about my missionary.  And then I met Randal.  I did not want to fall for him.  In fact, I fought it.  I felt guilty for being disloyal to the boy on the mission.  I wanted my life with him.  I remember talking to my mom and saying how guilty I felt, but I really liked Randal.  My dilemma was that if my missionary was here, I would never have dated Randal.

But he wasn't supposed to be here.  He was supposed to be serving the Lord.
...and that was when it all changed...

  I allowed myself to love Randal fully, and it was right.  I am the most true form of myself when I am with him.  He makes me better and pushes me because he knows my potential. 
  Am I less of a person because, I didn't wait?  Waiting the full two years and marrying your missionary is like the golden goal, and if you can't do it then you must be weak.
  What makes me weak about breaking away from the known and stable and pursuing something that turned out to be the best decision I have ever made in my life? 
I could have waited, but that wasn't the best thing for me.
  I am so grateful for my experiences because they prepared me to be the wife and person that I am today.

1 comment:

  1. ok so I kind of blog stalk you guys, but I've got to tell you that I LOVED your post. It was very interesting and insightful, and it made me think. So I hope that you keep blogging and I hope that you guys are doing well!


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